He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
