Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
