Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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