Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
