There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
