I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
