I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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