and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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