You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
