Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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