i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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