Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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