Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also, beer. Big fan.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
