The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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