did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
