I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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