didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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