i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
