Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
