Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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