yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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