do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
