You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
