wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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