This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A+ Viking dick
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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