I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
