I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
