I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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