Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
