belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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