As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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