Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There's always time for handjobs
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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