Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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