ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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