I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
