So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
