omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
