I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
