im having a threesome with these popsicles
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
