How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
