no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
