girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
