So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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