He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
