He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
