If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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