He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
