dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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