I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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