you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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