i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
