I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
