Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize