hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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