I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
