I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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