ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
