i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
