ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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