i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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