I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
