sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
no, he came in my armpit
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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