It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
