K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
