I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
