she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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